Date Night

Drew and I finally had the opportunity to go out on a child-less date on Friday night. We haven't had the time to do many of those lately and it was high time we made some space to be alone together. With his busy schedule of work and school and attempting to balance my schedule of work and motherhood, the reality is that we are more often simply living life together - tag-teaming throughout the week, with little time to connect as a couple.

I've been keeping my eye out for Groupon, Restaurant.com or Living Social deals and have begun to acquire a few coupons for date nights. Not only does it give us a discount, which hey - I kinda love, but it encourages us to try different restaurants when we do make it out! Friday, it was Terra Nostra - a wine and tapas place downtown. 

It has a fun and energetic vibe and was filled with couples, but it was still quiet enough to be able to relax and converse. We took our time and lingered over cocktails, shared an assortment of five different tapas plates, and finally coffee and dessert. The food was incredible! Beef cheeks, salmon, shrimp, and a surprisingly delicious pear and walnut quesadilla (who knew?!?). 

Knowing Jennie was at home, fast asleep and that we had the entire evening at our disposal, we were finally able to unplug from work and parenthood, from responsibilities and all the demands that pull at us through the week and simply enjoy being together. The food was superb, the drinks delectable, but the conversation and time to connect? Simply sublime. 

It was a reminder to both of us why we need to do date night more often. To remember the joy of driving around holding hands, trying new things together, savoring each moment and creating memories. Friday night, I got to know my husband a little bit better, I remembered all the reasons why I adore him and I fell a little bit deeper in love. 

New goal? We decided to aim for a date-night out every other week. We'll see how this goes!

It was a delightful and refreshing evening and left us both a little more ready to move forward, tackling life together.

(Sorry about the poor pictures - I forgot my camera and had to resort to shooting these with Drew's phone. Not the most flattering, but you get the idea.) 

Those Sweet Moments

Yesterday was a bit of a drag. It was my day off, but my dear husband was on shift, so it was just the little one and I at home. It was exceedingly dreary - overcast, rainy and cold all day long, squelching my dreams of taking the girl for a jog. You could say my parade was rained on. We only had one brief moment of sunshine and man, was it glorious! I basked in it through the window like a lizard, soaking in it's light and warmth desperately. It soon passed and the rain returned. But it was a sweet moment.

The day was one of what I would consider my unsuccessful ones. The ones where I combat my doldrums, laziness and seeming inability to accomplish anything of substance and also fail to be intentional, create memories or do something fun with my daughter. Either productivity or intentionality would be better than the guilt-inducing, paralyzing blah-ness that seems to take over my life on a lot of my days. In the past, I would have let the regret of yesterday weigh over me and taken it's dreariness with me into my tomorrows, but I really don't want that to be my continual pattern. The truth is that every day, whether we use it well or fall short, is the day that the Lord has made and we should rejoice in it!

So, in keeping with my recent goal (or resolution, shall we say? :)) to celebrate the magic and the mundane and to live in the present, instead of focusing on what did not get done or how I failed, I want to think about the sweet moments.

Just yesterday...

• The sunbeam through the window.
• Jennie falling asleep on my chest as we lay together.
• Wrestling with my sweet girl and hearing her giggle as I tickled her.
• Watching her laugh as I popped out to startle her from behind the doorways. 
• Having her bring me a book, turn around and back up to sit in my lap and read it to her.
• The sweet kisses she kept leaning in to give me.
• Watching her swing some pretty sweet dance moves, complete with rapidly stomping feet and waving arms. 

And recently...

• Last weekend's party, sipping wine and laughing with women from my church.
• Sitting up together with Drew until 12am as he took a test online, taking joy in being able to support him as he pursues his dream.
• Getting Jennie out of bed this morning all fuzzy headed and smiling after sleeping until 7:30!! (Normal wake up time generally ranges from 4:30-6am).
• The coffee and quiet communing Drew and I were able to have this morning due to said late wake-up!
• A brief car ride (just the two of us) to connect with my Dad who was in town ever-so-briefly.
• A phone call from a friend I rarely speak to going out of their way to check on me and encourage me.
• Correspondence from another friend, providing the vehicle for deeper conversation than we've had in a while.

And soon to come...

• Tomorrow night - a much needed and highly anticipated date night! Perhaps we should take some inspiration from some friends, who to have some of the most fun and creative dates.  I'll let you know how it goes.
• Saturday - meeting up with not one, but two girl friends to catch up!
• Sunday - first time at church in several weeks! I cannot wait for some much needed fellowship and spiritual feeding.

My great-grandmother and my daughter's namesake claimed Psalm 118:24 as her life verse. Perhaps I can learn from her legacy and begin to live the way she did, treasuring each day and the sweet moments they contain.

"This is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it." Ps. 118:24

Jennie

Last New Year's Eve, I rang in the new year blessedly passed out for a few precious minutes, catching some desperately needed winks between feedings of my then four-day-old daughter. Unfortunately, I was not the picture of maternal peace and bliss you see in hallmark cards. I was a hormonal, exhausted, insomniatic, emotional, stressed mess. I wasn't sure I was going to be able to handle motherhood. Wasn't sure I was ever going to enjoy the process or enjoy the precious little bundle I held in my arms. I couldn't recognize this little person as the same one who I had so tenderly and joyously carried in my womb for so many months (yes - I am one of those crazy people who LOVES being pregnant). I was scared I was never going to like motherhood, scared she wasn't eating enough, scared to give her a pacifier (terrified of nipple confusion!), scared not to give her the pacifier (oh! the endless crying and nursing!), scared she would stop breathing when she slept, scared it wasn't going to get any easier and scared I was never going to sleep again.

Eventually, three weeks in - to be exact, God met me in my desperation. It was my first night home alone as my husband had returned to work (he works 24 hr. shifts as an EMT) and my mother had returned home to the West. In the middle of the night, as I held my tiny girl and poured out my heart to God, He showed up. Oh, He was there all along, but in that moment, He appeared in a way I could feel and know and see. Suddenly the angst, terror and desperation dissolved in the face of His reassurance that He was there and it was all going to be ok. Peace descended and faith sprung root in my heart and from that moment on it really has been ok. Better than ok, it has been a joy so indescribable and so much more than I ever could have hoped for or imagined. The insomnia did not abate. The showers of vomit did not lessen. The middle of the night awakenings continued to test my morality and sanity, but in the midst of it all, there was joy. And blessing beyond what I ever could have imagined.

Because when she smiles, the sleepless nights no longer matter. When she laughs, I become an addict that would kill, cheat or steal for the next hit of those giggles. When she lays her head on my chest, I cannot imagine how I could love anyone more. And when she snuggles to sleep at my breast, my heart overflows with gratitude, humbled that our Father would bless me so greatly...and I wonder that He should love me the same way I love her.

When we were pregnant, I was told to treasure the moments after she was born because they fly by all too quickly. Our sweet girl is already 1 year old. It's hard to believe she's so grown up. Walking and even running. Jabbering and expressing her opinions quite readily. She totters around, brings us books to read, giving us "loves" and kisses. It has gone way to fast. I knew it would. But what I did not know, was just how incredibly blessed I would be by each day I've spent with this incredible little girl. Thank you Lord for giving us Jennie.

The Birthday Celebration

Helping Daddy make the cupcakes for the party

The Decor...

We did give her a real cupcake - I promise.

She looks pretty pleased with the results.

Happy Birthday Jennie