Celebrating Mornings

It's early. Before 6 am. And I am up...well rested and at peace with the world. It's still and quiet in the house and my heart. Exhausted last night, as soon as I had the little one tucked in to bed, I followed suit. Lights out by 7:30! Only in my life as a parent would I imagine going to bed so early. But it was delicious!

I am a morning person, there is no doubt about it. In all my schooling years, I would go to bed and get up at 2 or 3 or 4am to finish whatever project or paper I had awaiting me. And today, I still feel my freshest, most hopeful, cheerful, determined, most productive and able to think in the wee hours of the morning. Too bad it fades as the sun comes up.

It's the beginning of a new week, but I'm going into this one feeling quite victorious. On Saturday, I finished ALL the Christmas shopping! My goal this year was to have it done before Thanksgiving so I could enjoy the holidays with less stress...you see how well that went! Ha!
Oh well. What's important is that I'm done! Done! Done, done, done!

And although I actually didn't shop at Target this year, I totally feel like the girl dancing with the shopping bags. I feel rather giddy, in fact. Which goes to show me just how much getting that done was weighing on me and why I really should get it done earlier. Next year.

Well, the little one is up. Just like her mama, she is also a morning person. She greets me with the biggest smiles and playful jabbering in the morning. I love it! What a way to start the week!

"This is the day that the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it."

Psalm 118:24

Goals

I've been waiting all week to have something profound and brilliant come to me so I could write the perfect second blog entry. After starting last week, I suddenly felt a tremendous amount of pressure to be clever, witty and at the same time have great insight. Ridiculous, I know. This tendency towards being kept from action by the looming giant of perfectionism is nothing new to me...and part of what I am actually trying to overcome with my blogging experiment. So many goals...

I've been thinking a lot about goals lately. This week I had a giant list of them and my to-dos written in dry-erase marker on my bathroom mirror. I find great satisfaction in marking things off my lists. In fact, if something wasn't already on the list, I would add it when I'd finished it, just for the joy of seeing an accomplishment up there. Now, let's be honest, they weren't big things. But big things aren't really on my agenda in life right now. Getting the laundry done and keeping food in the house are about my speed. Oh - I have lofty ideals, but I find that the with those ideals comes a tremendous amount of guilt and regret.

Blogging , or porn for women, as my pastor calls it, carries with it the temptation for me to start drowning in a sea of comparisons.
This woman is more clever than I am.
That woman has more fun - she seizes the day!
This one is a better homemaker, that one a better crafter, this one has such a better sense of style.
Her house is so much better than mine.
She's a better mom.
They have a more adventurous marriage.
She's more
    beautiful
        talented
            intelligent
                witty
                    fun
                        organized
                            disciplined...
And the list goes on...and on...

But this week, a friend directed me to the wisdom of another woman. A woman I don't know, but who's reminder to learn to rest and live in grace was exactly what I needed this week.

One version of Psalm 46:10 says:

"Cease striving and know that I am God"

I know that I am not going to stop setting goals for myself. Nor do I think I need to. But I do need to learn contentment and rest. And especially grace.

So as an exercise in grace, I am going to post this now. Imperfect. Unfinished. And exactly how I'm feeling. And as I head out the door to church this morning, my prayer is the God will meet me in the grace I so desperately need.

It's a Marshmallow World in the Winter

A dear friend of mine decided to start blogging as a means of recording life and being intentional about enjoying the days and seasons she is currently in. Part of me was inspired. The larger part of me was disgusted. "Ugh! She does such a good job of living!" And the guilt rolled in as I told myself I needed to learn to do the same.

If I'm being honest with myself, these last months have mostly been a busy blur of simply surviving. Instead of seizing life, I've recently realized that I generally live in the suburbs of Pastville - a town populated by guilt and regret or Futuretown - a place where scheming and planning call home. And I'm pretty sure that isn't how I've been created to live.

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly." John 10:10

Fireflies are perhaps one of the most magical of all of God's creation. I never saw them growing up in the west and I will never forget the first time I experienced their wonder as a colleged-aged woman. Suddenly I was transported into the fairytales of childhood, merriment and awe. It was magical. And even still, every summer when they appear, I am transformed into a giddy, wondering child who believes her Father and His goodness with the unwavering faith of a child.

And as the mother of an (ALMOST!) one year old, laundry is an abounding reality of my life. I'm pretty sure I have been doused in vomit at least once or twice a week for the past year. In fact, this morning by 6am, my bed, myself and my daughter were all showered in it. Laundry is copious. But I can assure you that as I stripped the bed in the wee hours of the morning, I was not celebrating...

But while fireflies may be enchanting and laundry may not be, the truth is that I want to learn how to celebrate and live life abundantly whether it's in the magical or the mundane. 

It is the season of advent - a time for preparation, celebration, and hope. It is a time of joyfulness and wonder. A time to suspend our grown-up reasoning and mature worrying and renew our innocent hope in a Savior who put on flesh to meet us in our humanity. Christmastime, like fireflies, hold the magical ability to transport us back to that place of childlike faith, joyful abandon and fun. What better time of year to start learning to live and to enjoy the present? After all, it is a marshmallow world in the winter...